In this blog we meet Andrew, one of our new trustees…
So, how do I start to write a first blog after being kindly invited to do so? I guess this is all very new to me, being a trustee with Mainspring Arts, but it has definitely got my thinking processes going about neurodivergence, and how I may fit into this with personal experience of mental illness. I feel there is a reservoir of potential material, ideas, experiences and stories to bring to this role, but as yet, I’m not perfectly sure how…
I have experience of the mental health system, and I have encountered many other creatives who also struggle with mental health issues. I have witnessed some extraordinary art being made, as well as personal transformations, and the forming of friendships too. I was part of an art therapy group more than 20 years ago and I revisited this wonderful secluded space in recent years. Its tranquility and sense of no-change over such time became a space profoundly reflective, as I was at a new crossroads in life at the time.
I have now become an employee of the art therapy group, since 2019, and find contributing to the group professionally to be a wonderful experience. The group doesn’t really end for me week to week. In between I find myself thinking about the art that’s been made, and conversations that have grown in the session. I approach each week with a sense of excitement about what comes out, but also a sensitivity, as members are sometimes addressing quite difficult themes in their work.
This personal aspect is a challenge for me, but centring this around the art and creative process feels like a safe anchor to go with, and I am hoping to grow with this. I get to make some art too, but I seem to be stuck with summery landscapes, and obsessive mark making that does’t really depict things. I am hoping to challenge myself on this, and try to explore more figurative things, but actually abstraction is something one can drift away with… and I simply find this helpful for my wellbeing.
During the first lockdown I was presented with the wonderful opportunity to make some art, and I treated these creative afternoons as if I was in the group still. I made notes and reflected about the work after, as if still in the group. This all came together with a short film I made about this work, which I have shown to hardly anyone, but I have just submitted it to a festival under the category ‘artist film’, as I really couldn’t place it anywhere else!
The art therapy group is a special place for me, but I am also endeavouring to pursue personal projects with electronic music and moving image. I am having trouble presently finding creative outcomes to my ideas - that is, turning these ideas into projects I can focus on. I have started something new - it’s some visuals to a piece of music of unique style to me - but cannot carry on with it. I designate time to it but find myself halted. I am trying not to give up, I have an idea of what needs to be done, so I am hoping I will approach in the future!
I love listening to ambient music all the time, I always have done. My doctor cautioned me that it can make one feel very distant, and create a sense of otherness that he suggested may not be good for my health, but this is exactly why I listen to it. In fact I have made some ambient music myself and find beauty in it. Actually in listening it feels very much like the process of making abstract art I mentioned, with the similar feeling of drifting away. I am very interested in the space between objectivity and experience, and how experience itself could be thought to have an aesthetic. This all contributes to a relaxed way of life for me, which is sometimes very important. Choosing my environment is in a sense is a luxury I have. I am trying to call this art.
I have over the years been part of many community based arts groups, and can say they have helped with my mental health tremendously. As I was in recovery, going to an organisation called Sound Minds to make electronic music once a week was a fantastic thing, and it helped me to reunite with a practice that was temporarily lost through a period of ill health, a breakdown I had. There were other groups I attended, which again provided an outlet through creativity, and eventually I found myself doing things on my own initiative.
I am really looking forward to getting involved with Mainspring Arts, I feel really at home with neurodivergence and the creative arts. It’s very exciting to have been given this role, and for now this blog has been a great way to start - and I may add more blogs in the future to carry on!
